Merry Christmas/End of the Year Catch Up

Hey there, hi there, ho there to all my faithful readers. This has been another year for the books. It's strange but I am grateful that this year is coming to an end. The last few years have been, hmmm. Well they haven't been been all that great but like every I do enjoy sharing so I figured I would first recap this year before we finally say good bye to 2013 and ring in the next year.

I'm going to start with April. When Mini turned 8, she wanted a bowling party so we took and some of her friends to go bowling. The kids had a blast bowling and playing laser tag. She said it was something she would want to do again. From her turning 8 to the summer, Roo and I worked on our next adventure. We took her down to the river with Papa and Gigi. She had such a good time. I will tell you I was worried about that trip since I wasn't sure how she would do on the water. The water shoot was her favorite part. Then we went shopping in Fredricksburg and of course at the best little candy store in Texas. (that was my favorite part) Of course I enjoyed being with my family. After the passing of Sophia I learned that family is even more important. They keep you from losing your self even when you don't know its about to happen. Our Family vacation was a chance for us to spend 

that time together. We enjoyed the sights and enjoyed just being away from everything. Then it was back home and time to start getting ready for the new year. And as most of you know our world was rocked once again.... At the end of August my Pop passed away leaving us all to once again find our way out of a dark tunnel. Mini once again showed us her strength and courage as she got up and spoke to a room full of people. She reminded us that for being so young she has some really strong shoulders. And Roo once again got to help hold me up when I wasn't sure how to stand. Though the family agreed this was better for him we have been feeling our way around trying to get the right grip. But like he always said, we have to live so it was on to the next phase. Mini started the 3rd grade. Her smile can light

up a room when she really wants it to. She has been doing an awesome job in school. She got her first C for her progress report but she brought it back up. She joined Choir and UIL this year. (story telling, if you can believe it). I was so proud to hear her sing she has a wonderful voice and she is such a ham, I can't wait until she try out for drama. I've been told I've been holding her a little close but right now I just don't know any other way to be. She deserves so much and even the things she doesn't have she accepts. Of course, before we knew it was time to do our annual Halloween fun. I think Mini and I look forward to this almost a little more then Roo but we found some really cool masks this year. Sadly we didn't do the full dress up but its only cause this year has been like living half ass. But we still made sure that Mini enjoyed herself. So for Halloween this year I dressed up and so did mini we went out trick or treating and as she states she cleaned up. Now I didn't get a lot of pics but I'm just glad she had a great time. During this time some things changed and we met new friends. (And I didn't have to pay 'em woop woop) Now you haven't heard a lot about them cause I haven't gotten names for them. And just like everyone in my life I feel that they didn't sign up to be actually wrote about so I'm working on. But Roo and I both feel like they were put in our lives at a time when we needed it most. Its crazy but there it is. Also this year Roo and I got dressed up and went to my company Christmas Party. We had a really good time but again I think that has to do with the people you are with. Now here we are after Christmas and about to start a new year and I have recapped quite a bit but I want to make some inspirational statements like I normally do. Well at least

I think they are. 1st I learned this last year that people are truly put in your life when you need it most. You may meet someone and not be really sure about them but then you learn that, that person is going to help change your point a view for the better. They are going to meet and match you whether it be in friendship or in love and they are going to be the ones that are going to be there for the long haul. I have met several of these people while working in the Land of Cubes and though I may not say it everyday I am grateful that I have had a chance to get to know you. I am thankful that you have taken the chance to know me and that we can get along so well, and my hope is that as new friends come and old friends my go that I've left big enough impression on  you that when you think of me you know you are stuck in my heart..
2nd This year, though you didn't hear much from me my faithful readers was hard on me. The first year of not having our little girl and also trying to show Mini that she is not forgotten. A year of more tears and sadness but also a year to reconnect with family even those you don't really want to connect to. Letting go of some old feelings because you know its what you should.We had an angel this year that helped make our little girls Christmas so much brighter, and though this angel will remain unsaid, they will honestly never know just what they did for us. They took a time that I wasn't sure how was going to go and blessed us and because of that we were able to make sure she was reminded of the greatness of the Holiday season. I found a picture of her from her 1st Christmas. From then to now she has just grown so much and I am so blessed that I have her.

So, whats next for us? Well this year I am not making any great promises. I'm going to try work on those small things that Roo and I have been working toward. I'm going to make sure that Mini has another wonderful year and I'm going to enjoy the time I get to spend with my family and my friends. I am so blessed that Roo and I are still going strong and I am thankful that he still loves me even through all the sadness. I'm going to enjoy being 31 and Roo and I are going to quit being homebodies and thanks to some great people we are working on getting out more. So thats it. I'll of course keep you updated cause thats what I do and it helps my head not to hurt as much...But we both have decided it's time to live, something that some how we forgot at some point.

Later Days 

Being Scammed For the Holidays

It's funny after all the posts and the glimpses into my life I've given you this seems to be the hardest one. My family and I have been through quite a bit. Roo and I have made choices that most may or may not understand. Everything we have done has been to try and better not only ourselves but to provide a better life for Mini. The death of one child makes you, as a parent, cherish the life of another but with that comes the hard aches of not feeling good enough. 
People do not know all of the actual struggles that we have endured because I have become extremely good about putting on a happy face. I have been careful to not reveal much due to the fact that somethings are just not talked about and yet I have a disclaimer. ---------->
Well folks like I said this is the hardest post because I have to admit that even I can be wrong. Even I can be too trusting and fall for something. The holiday season is upon on us and there are so many changes that my family must face yet again. This is the second holiday that our little Sophia will miss out, this is the first holiday that my grandfather will not be apart of us. Roo and I are struggling with bills due to repairs and things that break down. We are in fact very normal in our life. So here is what has happened....
We have been victims to a theft. Again this is not an easy story to tell so please bare with me as we are definitely not proud or excited about what has happened. We applied for a loan to help out during the holidays and to assist with a few of the major bills that due to home repairs we acquired more then the normal billing. We applied with GE Capital Bank. Roo was contacted and told he was approved, we believed that after several years of nothing but bad luck and sorrow that we were finally getting a break and that our prayers were answered. Boy were we wrong. The gentleman that contacted him first was named Derek. He stated that Roo had been approved for a substantial amount and that we would be able to make small monthly payments over the next few months. A loan like this would help improve his credit, Roo told him he would need to speak with me, yes we are one of those strange couples who talk about everything, and he then got back to him and agreed. 
Again we believed at the time we were speaking with GE Capital. This week on our vacation and on the time of Thanksgiving holiday we learned a very valuable lesson, even smart people will fall for a something when they believe they have no other choice. Roo contacted the number provided and a new gentleman George told him that Derek was out. George then told him that he would assist Roo with the transaction, after speaking to him for a bit George then told him their system would not allow them to verify anything with our account. He instructed Roo to place money on a MoneyPak so that they could see the money was holding and available. After following directions, again hold all your yelling at the stupidity until the end, Roo contacted GE back. This time he spoke to a Michael that stated that he could see the funds and that loan would be transferred in to our acct with in 45 min at the latest. Hours went by and no money, we contacted the bank and no transfer has taken place. We contacted GE and they assured him that everything was fine and that it had gone through.
As Roo and I began to discuss things some things started to push forward in our minds. I began to do some research, which if I had been thinking before I would have done and we would have been in better shape. I learned that GE Capital Bank is fully aware of this scam, they are so aware that they have a disclaimer on their website that reads:

Important!
Urgent Advisory: DO NOT provide your Walmart MoneyCard or MoneyPak information to callers. GE Money Bank is now GE Capital Retail Bank. We do not offer personal loans to be loaded on Walmart MoneyCard or MoneyPak and would never ask you to load money on a card product in order to qualify for a loan. If someone has called you stating they are from GE Money Bank or GE Capital Retail Bank and asked you to load money on a MoneyPak or Walmart MoneyCard in order to obtain a loan, DO NOT provide them with your information and please contact your local authorities. If you believe you have been a victim, in addition to contacting local authorities, you may visit www.ftc.gov for more information.


After I found this on the GE website I literally felt my heart drop. Nobody ever wants to admit that the gift or miracle they thought that they were receiving wasn't a gift or miracle after all. So Roo called back. We first checked the cards and sure enough the money they held was gone So when he called back he was told that Michael was in a meeting and would call him back shortly. Shortly ended over an hour later. I called back and the didn't give any information but that I had received a call from this number, the gentleman stated that he was Michael and proceeded to tell me, as another person, that the refund that I requested would not arrive for 20-30 days. When I explained who I was he then tried to blame us for the funds not being there and then started to tell me how if we just continue to wait they would be available along with the funds from the MoneyPak. We went over several items the main thing being that I now knew this for a scam, which he never did deny but he continued to stated the funds would be there.
We contacted the police and an very nice officer came out and took my statement. By this time we both understood what had happened. We were feeling so blessed that something was finally going right for us that we didn't question the things that we would normally question. Like the fact that never once did they state we were on a recorded line. Never once did they state he would need to sign a contract. We were just blind. Roo contacted MoneyPak so that he could see if we could learn where the money was unloaded. Because they have it on the card that they are not responsible for theft, they are of course willing to work with law enforcement since they stated that anyone who was using them to commit fraud they would like to prosecute. The officer basically said that even though we were able to provide a phone number the likeliness of catching this person is none and we would never get our money back.
And once again I cried, not necessarily for the money, I mean this guy taught us a very valuable lesson, I cried because for years we have worked hard. We have struggled, but we have worked hard to provide something good for our daughter, we have been faced with one small tragedy after another and we have kept our heads up. We have used everything thing that we have faced as a new challenge to better ourselves. We have more then stood by the whole for Poorer thing in our wedding vows. We have grown together and suffered through our bad choices from earlier in our marriage and yet this one thing was able to break us down. It was able to make us feel that we will never be able to catch even the smallest break. That even though we will continue and smile and show our daughter that she is our greatest joy, this year our holiday season may just fall flat. We have always managed to pull a rabbit out of a hat for her but with everything from the past year and this year and now with this perfect shining example of how dumb a person can be well I'm trying my damnedest to find that rabbit.
This is the first year that she may fully come to realize that not everything is as jolly as we have made it out to be and that is not something I ever wanted her to know. But this person, this thief took that from us. Though he did not physically rob our home, he still managed to steal from us. He still managed to make us feel broken and I hope that he really needed that money. I hope that he will enjoy what he has taken from others because as the officer pointed out several times there will be no getting it back.
Thank you for listening, I hope that after hearing this horrible and embarrassing story you will pass it along to your friends and family, make sure that what happened to us doesn't happen to you or them. The only way to stop a thief is to make people aware and though I hate to admit I was a victim I am choosing to lay it out there in hope that I can save someone from the same sadness and violation that I feel.
Later Days

Story of Love and Life

Happy Sunday to all my faithful readers. I have been hearing and reading a lot about a blogger who sweetly and elegantly put "Marriage is Not for Me". Though his views are wise and have hopefully saved his marriage from the fate of divorce, it has cause a lot of thoughts to go through my head. Marriage is not a "Me" issue it is a "We" thing but at the same time you have to ask yourself what do you bring to the relationship. In some aspects a marriage can be seen like a business deal as both parties need to have something to offer. No I don't necessarily mean financial stability, though that could be a plus in the long run. I am talking friendship and love. Though we all want to believe in the everlasting love that is depicted in the movies or even wrote about in the book, most of us realize that kind of love takes work and it helps if you are able to go down this journey with your friend. 

I'm not saying that, that heart pounding, take your breath away, causes tears of joy kind of love does not exist or that it can not exist in an instant. What I am saying is that, that kind of love can fade and it takes work to be able to keep that feeling alive in some marriages. Sometimes once we are married we lose ourselves to the marriage and we think that because we have won the heart of our partner that we have the right to relax and not continue to try to keep those moments alive. So today's blog is about the journey of love and life of two people. We had a quick beginning and we are still together though some never thought it was possible. Many people are aware of how I met my husband, but for those of you that are new to my world I'll break it down really quickly for you. I'm not really a private person in some areas of my life and since we both tend to get a kick out of this story I will gladly share it for a back ground. 

I met Andrew (Roo) on February 17,2001 at work. I had been working for Wal-Mart for a while by this time and I was a senior in high school. It was his first day of work and if you have ever worked for a store like Wal-Mart you may know that you are taken on a tour of the store. I at the fitting room (which I would hang out quite frequently) with a friend of mine when we saw one of the older trainers with two guys. One was an extremely tall, lanky guy who could be classified as cute in a boyish kind of way. The other one was tall, brown hair blue eyes and had piercings he was wearing a white psych ward shirt (a shirt that I would later wear until I had to get rid of it) It was just something about the look of him that caught my attention I told my friend that I would marry that one. Of course she laughed but we went on about our way. I actually introduced myself to him inquiring if he needed help finding his size in the bra's that they were being shown by the trainer, he held one up and said "Nah I don't think you have my size" I smiled sweetly and replied "You can try the little girls section I'm sure they've got something for you" and needless to say we've been together ever since.

  From the moment that we met we became friends first. Roo was very adement about being my friend first since I knew that I was "talking" to someone else at the time. The more time we spent together the more that I realized that this really was the one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. He held my heart as my friend. I am a person who at times is very guarded and he made sure that no matter what the issue he would scale any of the walls I put up between us. Though he would repeatedly tell me that he was not going to "chase" after me he did a pretty good job of  handling any of the crazy that was handed him.  Soon I decided it was time for the ulitmate test and I invited him along to meet the family. He was only told about meeting my parents but he met my brother and grandparents that way and I was able to show him my familyself (theres the self that we show others and the self that we are around family) My family liked him and I knew there was something special even when my mom called him by the wrong name he laughed it off  and saw the humor in it.  We still joke about that to this day. When he proposed he knew I would say yes so his proposal was not the most romatnic in the since that I cried happy tears. I cried, oh yes I cried but it was from tears of laugher. I mean being asked "So you think you want to?" is not really the way most girls want to be asked to marry them but for us it was perfect. We are very different then most, he recognized early on that though I am every bit a girl there was still something things that was even too girly for me and we compromised. We used this time of our engagement to grow with eachother. I had just turned 19 and we decided (with the accpetance of family) that we would begin our life. One the day of our wedding, we were both asked if we were sure. I mean lets face it one night as we were getting ready we had that magical discussion. You know the one where you talk about your fears?

How do we know that we will work out? What happens if we don't? What if we have kids?

So we discussed everything calmly and here is what we came up with at that time.

Tomorrow isn't promised, we need to live for today and learn from yesterday. We are only human and are not perfect but as long as we stay honest with each other then we can work through anything. Children are brought into this world with love so even if we did not work as a couple we would make sure that any child we may have would understand that they were still loved and that we would still find away to be friends and a family even if a different kind. If we don't work out then that is in the hands of GOD but we will work on anything we need to. Lastly the ultimate question came up. Do you believe in divorce? 

This is not a matter of religion but my answer to him was "You better be sure about me, I do not believe in divorce, I do believe in murder and I believe that I have acreage and a shovel and some really good alibis...So you need to be really sure before you get into this forever cause that whole death do us part thing is not really a suggestion as more of a fact even after death the whole we're gonna be apart is highly questionable." (yes i did say all this with a straight face) he thought for a moment and then nodded and said "Eternity to have you with me? Sounds good to me" and once again he won my heart.

The love part of our lives has always been the easy part. We are different in many ways and yet once people get to talk to us both they realize that we are the same...I just look like the sweet one. Our life together had been a little more up and down. He is still my best friend and I am thankful that I am walking this life with him. We have different views on some issue when it comes to how handle some situations. We have been through the death of several family members. We've been through the loss of a child and though I think I've went crazy sometimes, it helps to know that he will understand me...
Marriage is about me sometimes and its about him. Because we came together knowing what we could offer. He couldn't offer me riches but he offered his heart and his understanding and acceptance. He offered his strength when I was unable to have strength of my own. He makes it about me in the little things that he does to show that though I may have been a princess to my dad, I am a queen to him...(Lame to some but perfect to me) At the same time I came into this marriage offering myself, my love and my understanding and acceptance. I try to offer my sense of humor and optimism when there may not be any. I offered to help build a home and gave him two beautiful little girls even though only one could stay with us.
Marriage is a work in progress and nothing is ever perfect and over the years you will take each other for granted. You will fight, you will make up. For the gentleman who again so proudly stated "Marriage is not for me" you have realized early on into your marriage something that many do not. It's going to take work from both. We want it to be easy, we want it to be just like the movies "They met, they fell in love, they lived happily ever after" well in order to get to the Happily Ever After you need to go through the ups and downs, you need to be willing to grow with your partner. I can honestly say that I feel somedays that I've grown up with Roo, then again sometimes I think we still think we are kids in away. But the important part is that when we feel that we are going in different directions we are able to talk and are willing to reintroduce ourselves to each other.
There is a song by Paramore that I love Still Into You. the chorus of the song is what really sums it up for me and I'll leave you with that thought

I should be over all the butterflies
I'm into you
And baby even on our worst nights
I'm into you
Let them wonder how we got this far
Cause I don't even need to wonder at all
Yea after all this time
I"m still into you.

Thanksgiving History-My Thankful

 Hey there to all my faithful readers. As you may can tell Halloween Season is over and since I refuse to begin celebrating Christmas before it's time that means I'm gearing up for Thanksgiving. Also since it's the first of November that means its time to start breaking out all the turkey and dressing recipes along with the cakes, puddings and pies. It's time to start telling the world what we are thankful for even if they have absolutely no interest at all. And mostly its time to begin spending more quality time with family and friends. This year for my family is another year that we must accept that our worlds are going to be changed once again and we will all have to learn how best to deal with those changes. So lets get started with the History of Thanksgiving.

 During the Civil War in 1863 President Lincoln proclaimed "Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent,Father who dwelleth in the Heavens" to be celebrated on a national level on Thursday, November 26, Now I don't want to cause some religious debate like we have at Christmas but I would like to point out that "Father who dwelleth in the Heavens," was not Lincolns kinfolk who had passed away, he was talking about God. We celebrate and are thankful for so many things that sometimes we forget when this actually began. See in 1621 The Pilgrims, you know the really old dudes that came from abroad on those big things called boats? Yea them. Anyway they put their prejudices and dislikes aside and celebrated their success of their first harvest in the New World. 53 Pilgrims and 90 American Indians attended a three day feast. Now I know that this is not truly the first Thanksgiving as for years different cultures would celebrate with days of prayer and giving thanks to the heavens for being alive, making through a war, the end of a drought ect. But I just wanted to touch base there with a little History.
So with that being said lets get to the other portion, what I am thankful for. I am sure that people are thankful every day for something or other. But I never understood why they only want to voice that thankfulness in November instead of everyday.

I have so many things that I wish or hope for but I am also thankful for the many blessings in my life right now. I am thankful for my family. Good, bad, pretty, ugly we are there for each other. Last year was a hard year as we had just lost our little Sophia. It's so strange to think that a year has gone by and that we are still here with out her in our arms. I wonder sometimes what she would be doing at this stage in her life. I wonder what her and Mini would be playing with. And though I don't say it I miss her everyday. And though this is not the first Thanksgiving we are without her I still find it hard. But I am thankful for the even the few hours that I got to be with her. I am thankful for the light she brought this family and how she touched so many people with only hours of her being here.

I know that she is in better place and I know that everyday we get stronger. Even a year later.So I am thankful for my sweet angel in heaven. I am thankful for her big sister, Mini. Mini has shown strength and grace this past year. She is always full of light even when you know she's still not real sure what to do with herself. She has handled some situations better then some of us adults. And I couldn't be more proud of her. I am blessed that Mini was given to us. I still wish we were able to expand our family so that she can share the greatness that is her with others and we are still working on this but first we have to get through some of the not so great stuff. One of my favorite pics of Mini, she was about four and I know that she has grown so much but I still look at this picture and see her as she is today.
Her heart is so big. I am so thankful she is mine, even when she throws her girlatude at me, lol. I am thankful for my parents, who continue to teach me new things even at my age. I am thankful that not matter what they are on my side. I am thankful for my in-laws, I know its crazy right? I am thankful for my older brother and his beautiful wife. I am thankful for my cousins and aunts Though you will never read a lot about them. I am thankful for both of my grandmothers. These two strong women helped pave the way for their strong children who, I am told I get my strength and stubbornness from. This year I am a little extra thankful for my Poppy. As you may know he passed away in August and it has been another struggle for us. He was a great man and this is a different kind of year as we begin the Holiday season with out him. I am thankful for the stories he shared with me that I can pass on to my daughter. I am thankful for the life lessons he taught us all and for him just being him no matter what. I know he is with my Sophie and I know they are watching over us all.
I am thankful for some many things that I know I've only scratched the surface and I'm sure I'll be letting you know of those soon but I think for now I'm going to just say that you should be thankful everyday for everything you have. You should be able to open you mind enough to be there for others and be mindful of their feelings. So lets think about that...
Later Days

Doctor Visits and Small Panic Attacks and Catching Up

Hey there to all my faithful readers it's me again. The last few weeks have been filled with fun and painful times. I'll try to hit it all in a few short paragraphs before going on to some random topic. First at work I was shocked to learn that I was top performer. I guess that means my numbers were good. Then I was awarded with recognition for my customer service skills, yes I do agree that I am just awesome.
This past week saw another round of aggravation. For the past week I realized I was feeling more emotional at work and couldn't quite put my finger on what was going. Let me set the scene if I hadn't said this before I work in a land of cubes, so to say that we are all really close is putting it quite modestly. We work together we hear everything and quite often what one person is wearing as perfume floats by everyone.
With this being said I kept smelling this one scent and it didn't realize that it was making me melancholy until Monday when I felt the tears. Let me explain.
I tend to bury feelings. I know this, and luckly so do most people who deal with me, they deal with it as do I. I'm suggesting I'm made of steel or don't feel things at all, I just happen to deal with things in my own way which tends to confuse and upset people from time to time. With this in mind I have to say this, as a girl I love flowers. I know, I don't always seem the type but trust I am. Roo knows this too and from time to time he will surprise me with them. The first time he sent me Roses they were beautiful, even though they were pink (Roo is bound and determined to remind that I am girly) I got these before I went on a small vacation to the fair. Then I got another grouping of flowers, colored me surprised I got them with in two weeks of each other. Well a day or so later I noticed that one of the new girls got flowers too. She sits not to for me, they were pretty (though I didn't pay much attention since they hadn't bloomed) I then started to feel a little off. Just figured it was headache from some of the stress. Then Monday I could smell them, really well. They were Lilies, This shouldn't matter I mean Lilies smell really good, problem was that once I was able to really focus on them I began to feel the panic begin to set in. Lilies were the flowers that we received for Sophia. Even though Roo knows I like them he won't even buy them for me unless we are going to see her because he knows they tend to make me sad. (Crazy I know, and please no "You poor thing," I'm dealing)
Anyway Monday was especially hard so has I was trying to remember to breath through the sudden tightening of my chest and the pain going through me, I was able to by-pass the full blown on-set of panic and get through the rest of my work night. Roo and Mini surprised with taken me out to dinner that night

As we sat there at the restaurant my side began to hurt, feeling sick I had to have Roo take me home. People I hurt so bad I couldn't even cry, I didn't want to go to E.R. unless absolutely necessary so I got Roo to take me to the Doctor first thing the next morning. A few hours later along with a few tests we learned that I wasn't dying...Woohooo...(I mean that's always good) We also learned that I didn't have an ulcer like the doctor feared. (Bless him, cause if I did there was going to be some issues with a few people) What I did have was something painful but simple. Kidney infection and a small partially ruptured cyst on my ovary (I know I share to much) Doc was still worried so he wanted me to make another appointment. Thankfully that one ended with me getting something for the pain and for reassuring me that I was ok and even though he didn't say it I think Roo was reassured as well. (He worries) So after getting the all clear I went back to work, with my heating pad in tow cause they said heat would help me. I was few questions regarding my absence and then I learned that I received a new schedule. Though I wasn't feeling up to being my normal happy self I managed to convince my customers that I was the sweetest thing #customerservice101 (yes, I really did that) My co-workers for the most part were understanding and left me alone for the bigger part of Thursday. Friday saw me we a little pain at least until the later half of the day when I learned that I may over do it just a bit from time to time. Of course when I made the small mention in passing to Roo he decided that I would be couch surfing for a little bit longer.
Now on to today. Though I still have some pain I got to spend some time with my Nanny, I haven't really gotten to do this since Pop passed. My schedule has been crazy and we've tried to keep busy. It was good though spending some time with her and catching up. Life is so precious people.I got to show her my new tattoo that I have on my shoulder which reads "From Pain Comes Strength" The reason for this tattoo, yes there is a reason for it I mean there is one for every tattoo that I have, this one is to remind me that the more pain I face the stronger I get.No I don't want to face pain but it doesn't mean that I wont. It's on my shoulder because that is where we carry the most burdens. We allow them to weigh us down, to pressure on our shoulders. I have been told several times that I am so strong.
I thank them when they say this but I know that I am not. I am not strong, I break just like everyone else but I refuse to let them see me break. I refuse to let them see the pain that I truly feel because to show that would mean that I am not capable of moving past. So I tend to let things go, I let them roll off me and Bless alot of hearts. And I remember that I am just me and I want to make everyone proud of me. I make mistakes and I may not be the person I always should be but I am pretty good at being me....So with that random run installment. Goodnight Peeps.

Fair Time With Family

 Hello to all my faithful readers. I hope this year is treating you well though at this time it can be questionable for us sometimes. October is a busy month for several reasons. 1st October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. This is a big thing for me and mine as both Roo and I have aunts who are Survivors of this terrible disease. And though most would not believe it we are supporters of this cause even if it is more on the silent side of things.
The next big thing about October is the Texas State Fair. Now I know it starts in September but the Mini has fair day every October and we are always excited to go. This year was no different. Like everything else in our lives we have seen some changes to the State Fair. Big Tex had a newer "creepier" face though he still welcomes you with a "Howdy Folks," his hand now moves to wave hello and his head turns. "Wouldn't it be great if it turned all the way around?" This question brought some great mental images of Big Tex following you as you ate whatever fried goodness that you may be partaking in. Mini enjoyed all the rides as well as the car show this year. She rode the Texas Star with some friends from school, and she did it all by herself. Her other excitement came when Roo won her Minion for her. Mini has been begging for a Minion and now it sits proudly on her bed.

With the everything "Smothered,Covered & Fried" you knew you were food heaven. Even foods you would normally not eat you convinced yourself to try. After a day of games, rides and shopping it was time to admit defeat and beg to go home. I think we were all tired by this time though some of us would never admit it. But as long as Mini had a great time then I was happy. Next year she made the request to bring a friend I think that would be good for her. She of course also asked if we could stay til dark. We said lets see about doing that and hope that things play out so we can. The other thing about October is the start of the Holiday Season. October is Halloween and of course we will be making our regular annual trip to the costume store to try on different masks and costumes so stay tuned for that greatness. But for tonight I must admit that I am feeling a little old as I tell you that I am wore out and I think I need some rest since I will be going back to work tomorrow. So later days peeps and if you are looking for something to do Go hang out at the fair.

Week of Ugh

So many things have been floating in my head here lately. For some strange reason I feel like I'm drowning in emotion. This week has felt like it was hard for me to breath and yet here I am...Yes, maybe I should look into the therapy but that is too expensive and I would be the person that would spend the money to just sit there and look off into space and I just don't think that would help. 

My thoughts are made up of flashes of past and present, thoughts and feelings. It's like a continues movie reel that I am unable to stop and the idea of actually voicing everything just makes me cringe. Something I have learned over the years is that death happens and yet life goes on. Something tragic happens every day and yet the world continues to turn. We continue go through the motions to show people that we are ok. 

This week I've felt like I have been in a bubble. For some reason everything has just got to me showing me once again that even I can't out run those horrible things called emotion. Does it make me weak? I don't think so, I personally think it makes me human, I think that not being able to voice everything makes me weak and yet that is just where I sit. I'm a "fake it til you make it" type of girl only this past week its been hard. Then of course to top that off I have people who are making it hard on me in the world of cubes.

When someone you see everyday seems a little off it is not a good idea to continue to pick at them, its also not a good idea to point out that you feel like the world should actually revolve around you. I know you find this to be a very strange statement since I welcome you to my world but this is about my life so just deal with it. Unless you are signing my check in the world of cubes you run nothing and in the grand scheme of things you are the low man on the pole so you need to get over whatever it is your entitled too.

Maybe I've been a little sensitive this week but my threshold for bullshit was reached this week and I just think that sometimes other people need to keep their filters on or just get some ducktape to help with their outburst of idiotic noise that really needs to be kept to themselves. If I wanted to wait on you and your needs all day I would have gotten a job in the food industry, but since I didn't that must mean you happiness is not high on my list of things. Even I know you check the thought the earth is there to circle around you and your feeling at the door and begin to think of others. Even if you don't want to think of others you learn to stay quiet and do your job and if you feel that this is just too much to ask of you well I have a solution for that too. Quit.....

But on top of the fact that I was having to listen to others whine and cry over things that most adults just shrug at I have to remind these people that I have a life outside of the world of cubes and that sometimes I am human. Sometimes I have to just let things roll of me because at the end of the day I'm just happy to have a good job and I am just happy that no one got harmed. Though here lately it has been close.

Oh well heres to a better Saturday

Later days

A Little Ripper History

Happy Sunday to all my faithful followers, I hope this past week has been good for you. For me it was back to business as usual, well except for the day off on Monday...I don't want to say tragedy is getting easier for me but I am finding that I can breath (this may be because of the medication). Everyday I find reasons to remember those I've lost and have a smile and that makes it a little more bearable. But with keeping with the tragic theme and the fact that we are slowly approaching the Haunted season I wanted to touch base with a little history lesson, what is it you may ask? Well before we go into it I would like to point somethings out, we as people are interested in the tragic death and unexplained occurrences that tend to happen in all parts of the world. We are fascinated by the gruesome unexplained murder sprees that tend to have no reasoning behind them. And my topic for today is, of course, one of the biggest unsolved mysteries. The reason for this topic is because on this day in history a body was found....

Jack the Ripper

This is the name given to the serial killer who became known for the brutal massacre of several women in the Whitechapel district of London  in 1988. "Jack" was also known as the Whitechapel Murderer and the Leather Apron, but it was the moniker of Jack the Ripper that took root and has held the fascination of people for years. Even though it is believed that he had at least 11 victims during his reign of deadly horror there were 5 that really took the spotlight. These 5 women would become famous with their gruesome deaths, Mary Ann Nichols, Annie Chapman, Elizabeth Stride, Catherine Eddowes and Mary Jane Kelly. 

Mary Nichols's body was found on August 31, 1888, Annie Chapman's body was found today September 8,1888 in a door way with her abdomen slashed open and her two cuts on her throat. (a really bad way to go if you ask me)  On September 30,1988 with in hours of eachother Elizabeth Stride and Catherine Eddowes would meet very similar fates and would be found, though in Strides case there would be questions on whether or not this would be due to Jack. Mainly because with her murder it appeared to be "unfinished" where as the others would be cut completely opened. But perhaps the most famous of these brutal murders was that of Mary Jane Kelly's. Her body was found November 9,1888 in her small one room flat unrecognizable. 

So what would drive someone to commit such gruesome acts? And why would these act of brutality be committed against  these women? And why were they unable to solve these murders? All very good questions and they each have some equally good answers. The problem is that no one really knows the truth except for those that were the victims and the person who took their lives. During the investigation the police received several letters from the supposed killer would help create the "Jack the Ripper" persona and add more confusion to this case. 

At first it is believed that Jack may be part of the upper crust as some of the wounds were possibly "expertly" done, but the letters would put another theory in the minds of the readers. The letters contained several spelling and punctuation errors. And though some of them were considered hoaxs there were at least four that really held their attention. Mainly because these letters would hold details that were not widely known. There letters would show that there was no remorse in the brutal killings and the that this murderer would have a very twisted humor as he would make references to his victims and himself. 

In the movie "From Hell" Jack was suggested to be the royal family physician who took it upon himself to rid Whitechapel of the women who sold their bodies. He was suggested to have done this because the Prince had secretly wed one. 

While this theory is very interesting I personally find it hard to believe that a physician for the royal family would do something almost common. Why not just hire it out. But if you read the letters the fact that a physician would write that poorly also makes it a little hard to believe unless he wished to make people question the valid of the claim. There is a book that is out there that suggest he may have been a butcher, so from a doctor to a butcher....hmmm

Anyway no matter who this mad man was the world was fascinated with every move and every piece of information on this unknown man. He became a legend with-out and actual face. Not a hero but an unknown celebrity that led police on a merry chase and then just disappeared.  

Well thats the history lesson for today my happy readers. Today in history, 1888 London, Annie Champman was found

 

 

To My Pop

I think that last time I was in this spot I watched as the cursor continued to blink for at least an hour. My mind was so full of thoughts but I couldn't get them out. Today, it seems like its the same. So many things have changed in the last year but and as I go back over the last few days I know that there is still more to come.
What does it mean to be a Pryor? This question was answered last night with all the people who joined us to celebrate the wonderful life of my grandfather. You work hard, you play hard, you love hard. You never let 'em see you cry and you show 'em you can sweat it out. But most of all you hold your head high no matter the situation. Well last night we were able to bow our heads and let our world crumble with grace and love from so many people. I think we were all humbled by the turn out. Poppy has touched so many lives. I didn't go up to speak last night because for some reason words that normally come so easy to me couldn't come at all. My heart has been breaking and though I know that day by day it will get better right this moment it's hurting.

So many times over the past few days I have been told how someone is sorry for our loss. I am so grateful for those thoughts and words but if you knew my Pop then you would know that he would tell you he is not lost, he has just relocated, in fact he would sit you down and give you directions so that you were aware of exactly where he was. This was a man who loved a good story and loved life. He loved his beautiful wife who was his best friend and companion in life for 57 years. He loved his kids who he helped raise and mold to the adults they are today. He loved his grandchildren who held his heart despite our faults. He loved us regardless of how we acted, though he demanded respect he taught each of us what it means to work for it. He loved his great-grandchildren who he cherished and spoiled on a regular basis. I remember that the older kids at one point or another asked if he had lost his mind when we learned of what one of the younger ones were able to get away with. But that was Pop he mellowed with age, he decided that he was going to enjoy those kids no matter what and he did.
My Poppy lived and extraordinary life and I only hope that as my little Mini grows that I can do his stories justice. I hope that as she grows she will remember the great times as we had so many. It was commented last night how he had a "Magic Belly" We were all fortunate to have taken a nap on it at one time or another. There was just something about that man that you knew you could talk to him about anything. You could sit and talk with him no matter what the subject and he would have some insight into it. He was our sounding board when we were frustrated and a shoulder to cry on. Even as adults the older kids could still crawl in his lap just because we needed our Pop.
Don't get me wrong our family wasn't and isn't perfect but we were a family that would still what was needed to be done because he asked it. One of the deep conversations we had was of my little Sophia and last night I was reminded again about how much we had been through for the last year. Well this is just one more thing to make us stronger. I know he is up in Heaven right now teaching my little girl how to ride and I know that he loving every minute. I know that he is no longer in pain and that he looking down on us wondering why we are crying. But most of all I know that we were all loved. He felt that he lived a full life with love and family and friends. He said he was grateful that he had been able to hold every single one of his kids, grandkids and great-grandkids. But we were the lucky ones. Even when he was being a butt he was still the best.
I remember as a kid I actually stood up to someone and asked "Do you know who my grandfather is?". I got whatever it was I was looking for that day. Roo said I made him believe that we were in the mafia with how we spoke of the man. I still laugh at that idea, and it could have been the way he carried himself but when my Pop spoke you listened.
So today we will finish out this tough week. Last night we celebrated his life and we listened to how he impacted others. Today we tell him goodbye and though I know its another day that will be filled with tears, its a day that I feel we have to experience. My little Mini did something last night that I could not, she spoke. She was calm when she told a room full of people that he was loved and that he will be missed. She held her head high when she took that stage. Pop would have been very proud of how she represented herself and the family. Every person who spoke did a wonderful job. This has been a suck week but we are going to make it through.
Happy Trails Pop, Though I know you have left us for today it doesn't mean that we won't see you tomorrow. You stood beside us all and held us together for so long and now its time for us to take that step. We've got this, you just rest and hang with the horses in the sky. Love you.

A Heart Break Kind of Day

 Hello to all my faithful readers, happy Saturday even if it doesn't really feel so happy to me right now. I've been through some pretty hard times and like I've said before I've let you all go through them right along with me. Strangely it helps to know that as I walk through this life I do not walk alone and I would like to think that you my readers feel the same. Since I tend to have little to no filter when it comes to my life I figured that this should be no different. The picture to the left is of me and my grandfather when I was a baby. My Poppy was a man who, as he would say, started from nothing but held a lot. I would sit and listen to him for hours as he told me about his history about how hard he worked to get to this place. As a kid I looked up to him, I remember helping and volunteering when he cooked for his old job for Christmas Parties. I learned from him what hard work was and what one would do for those you love. It was not always good times and the man could make you madder then most but he was everything to so many. He was someone who loved his family above all else and his family greatly loved him. He met the love of his life where they worked. He talked to her into giving him a chance and they shared many years together. They were able to not only hold onto their children, but their grandchildren and great-grandchildren, every single one of them. There was never a dull moment when he was involved.

On one of our many talks he told me how he thought my grandmother was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen and how he knew there was just something about her that said forever. I remember that day because I thought to myself that I hope to have a love like that. He told me stories of going hunting and some of the things he got to do and though some of those stories I felt like I'd heard them over and over again I would sit in the barn and listen as he cleaned his saddle. Even as an adult I would hang onto every word that man said whether it was about riding his bicycle into places he shouldn't have been as a kid or what he thought we should be doing with the horses the next weekend. It was a time a I cherished. As many of you know I lost my youngest daughter last year and at the time I felt like my world crumbled down around me. But as I was taught, you pick yourself up, you dust yourself off and you move ahead.  This morning my world once again fell apart around me when I got the call. My heart stopped as once again I was having to say goodbye except this time it wasn't after knowing him for only 62 hours, this time it was after having him in my life for 31 years. How do you say goodbye? But then I think of my grandmother and of the love they have shared. We, as a family have teased them for many things, but their love for each other was always 1st. No matter the situation he always put his wife first, and this was another lesson among many that we were taught. Love unconditionally, and we did. No matter how many time we would groan at his new tall tale each and everyone of us were proud to call him our grandfather.

 Something he loved more than anything were his horses, it's something he passed down to my dad and to Mini. Even when he was told he shouldn't, the man continued to ride. He took pride in his horses and he enjoyed working with them. He enjoyed the parades and the dressing up. He lived such a full life that it spilled on to other people. I have been with him when we would go somewhere and he'd start talking to some kid. The kid didn't have to listen to him. Hell anyone could have just got up and left, but when my Poppy started talking you'd find yourself listening. You'd see the awe in the person's eyes as he shared some antidote or piece of wisdom. Even the kids he would substitute for. I can honestly say in all my 31 years it was very rare for me to hear someone refer to him by his last name. Even growing up people would refer to him as Pop or Poppy. For the longest time I believed that was his name, then I actually thought that in some way we were kin caused everyone called him Poppy just like me. Now, I see it as a sign of respect. If the man didn't care or you, well you would never really have known it for the most part. There are still so many things I would like to say or even some of the greatest stories ever but I think I'll leave it with this one: The Tattoo Story.

All of the 1st generation of grandchildren have at least one tattoo. There are five us (not including spouses). And we each have shared with our grandfather when we got a new one. The only one of mine he actually said he liked is the angel wings that I have my little girl, after I showed him my first one he sat me down and gave me his tattoo story and it was as follows.
"There was a traveling tattoo artist, he would come into town for a week or two then leave again this would continue on and off. One day I decided I wanted one. So I went and paid him my money. I spend $25" (at this point I would point out the great deal that was and he's roll his eyes) "well he told me to meet him later and I did and then he got his machine on." Pop rolled up his sleeve and showed me his arm "You see this right here?" (Oh I saw it alright it was a freckle,lol) "Yes sir,"
"Well that's as far as I would let the guy go. I though came to my senses and went on home. Now don't you think it's silly for you to have spent your money?" (This was the story he told me after I got my first tattoo and he would change it over the years for me but would always ask me if I felt it was a waste of money.) On this first story I smiled at him, I had just shown him the moon and star on my ankle (I was proud) "Well no I don't."
He said "Why's that?"
"Cause I didn't pay for it." I had just turned 18 and all I wanted was money for my birthday so it became a joke between us. That the "Family" began my tattoos and that his little freckle later became nothing, he never even let the artist touch him and how he lost $25.

Good times or Bad I loved that man and I am going to miss him. But I know that he is in a better place and I know that he is in no pain. I know that my sweet little girl has welcomed him with open arms as all the others who's lives he has touched. We were very fortunate that this was man god graced our family with.
I love you Poppy and thank you for everything.....

Thank you readers for letting me share my life with you once again.

Pushing the Restart Button

"Everyone deserves a Second Chance" ever heard this quote? Hello to all my faithful readers, I hope that this summer is treating you all well. I know its been a bit and here lately my blogs have been sporadic and sometimes not inline with most things but see my head has been bouncing from here to there. I've had so many things floating through my head that sometimes I'm not really sure it's on in the right directions. I've been dwelling on old hurts and feelings. I've been trying to force something that I know I can no longer try and force I think coming to grips with that is making me go Lewis Carroll put it best  "Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad." I look at this quote and for some strange reason I totally understand it.  

Alice in Wonderland, for some reason I have been relating to that quite a lot. Its hard to even write this now mainly because there always someone I will piss off if and when I truly begin to write down some of my thoughts and feelings and for some reason I just need to vent...

Roo and I have been together for 12 years some days it feels shorter and some days it feels longer. I know that he has been worried about me lately cause even he can tell that my head is full....I'm jittery and I'm bouncing from one thought to the next. I don't feel grounded. I think thats because I haven't written in a while and everything in my head is just screaming to come out. We went and got our wedding band tattoos, (as seen below)

Some people may not understand it but I think that we've been through enough that we are good. Of course that brings me to my next issue....I've been think about a lot of things and starting over is something I think we can do. Everyone gets to take a deep breath. I've heard someone say that I'm being selfish and that should just be blessed with what we do have. Well besides my obvious feelings on others opinions in to my thought process I will actually answer that....

I am extremely blessed with my family and I know that we could be in a far worse situation, in fact over the years we have had some of those worse situations. (another time) But there are still dreams that we are trying to reach. There are still goals that we would like to accomplish. Some may not understand and other may believe that we are just not satisfied with the life we have and for those that have that thought....You're right, we are not satisfied, we do want more and crazy as it may seem I truly believed that there is more to be had. 

I mean are we all not destined for some kind of greatness? Who actually said that once something good/bad has happened that you are just suppose to lay down and accept it? Who says that I have to show the world every single thought and emotion that goes through my head? Hell who says that I have to grieve by locking myself away or that I am not allowed to be quiet as I have random thoughts. (Look I'm not going a on killing spree so put the phone down)

People sometimes expect to much and when it doesn't meet what they believe it should then they begin to tell you how your behavior is not normal. Well its time for me to let you all in on a little secret.......

I'M NOT NORMAL.... (Surprise) I'm a little dark, sarcastic, and bitchy. I learned a long time ago that I didn't have to be all bright and shiny to beloved (thank you to my wonderful parents) I could be me and still be accepted no matter who me was, (thank you to my awesome husband). Would I love to be rich.....No not really, I'm pretty happy being me but that doesn't mean that I don't want things. My dreams are that we are able to one day (through adoption of course) to add to our family. And not it's not because I believe that Mini isn't enough. I am more then happy with my sweet little girl. Its because I know that we have more then enough love to give. I know that Mini would make a wonderful big sister. It's because I see all these parents (single and otherwise) not wanting their children or not caring for them they way they should and I actually question why we were not allowed to keep our sweet angel. (No I am still not mad, but yes even I question things sometimes) I know there is always a reason and I don't vocally express my thoughts on the matter (trust me there is a reason for that) And yes I get tired of grown people tattling on me because of something that they have seen or read. Really? I'm 31 yrs old people grow the hell up and get off my ass. If you have an issue quit tattling and address it with me. My goodness you would think that grown people would make the choice to act grown and tell someone how they feel. Will my feelings get hurt, probably, will I be pissed, um maybe. But I would rather you discuss my business with me instead of going through the grapevine. 

I bottle things up and that is probably what this blog is more about but I need a fresh start. I need to get things out there and to hell with peoples feelings. If you get upset with this new entry then please once again read the disclaimer to the ------------------------------------------------>

I'm not perfect, and I do try to make everyone happy but sometimes I have to take care of my happiness first. Right now Roo and I are trying to save for things we want to make a fresh start for our family. We know things need to change in order for us to continue to grow. We are trying to do that. Now with all that said (hmm)

Things that will still remain the same:

My family will always be my family. Yes I will always put them first no matter what. If they are in the wrong then I will be wrong with them...

My belief system...I know people question my thoughts and feeling regarding this issue so I will go ahead and make a point of addressing it. I believe....I believe that everyone deserve the right to be accepted and loved for who they are. I believe that everyone deserves a chance to experience happiness and I believe that nobody has the right to pass judgement on choices that they make. Just because I don't agree with something does not make it wrong or make me the better or smarter person. It just means that its not something I personally would do. But it also doesn't mean that I won't stand behind you as you do something and it doesn't mean that if you needed me to I wouldn't stand in front of you to protect you.

My feelings....My feelings will never change. I am a girl and yes I do show emotion (even when I don't want to) and if you are ever fortunate enough to become someone I care for I will always care for you and support your happiness. 

Lastly the biggest change that will not now or ever occur...

Me. I'm not going to change. I'm still going to love tattoos and dirty books. I'm still going to love to write and to tell stories about Mini, because she is my child, (get a sense of humor) I am me, I am at times selfish and spoiled, my filter on my brain does not always reach my mouth and I sometimes say inappropriate things at the wrong times. But this it people. If you can't handle it then you were never meant to be in my life and I will miss you. If your good with it then stay tuned. I would rather make you laugh then make you mad or cry but if I have to I'll be happy with making you mad every time. So here's to a fresh start, a clean break. It's time to rip the bandaid off and start living for me....

Since we are starting over we would like some help in doing so the address below is away for this to happen. We know one major step in starting over is to pay off debt. I am working to fully clear student loans and some other medical debt (from when Sophia was in the hospital) some was wiped clean while others where not. if you would like to help we would appreciate it. http://www.gofundme.com/StartingOverWithTheVents

Later Days Peeps 

Birthday Greatness

Hello to all my faithful readers, today its gonna be packed with information. Tonight I am finding myself quite talkative and for those of you that have followed me from the beginning you know that means I'm ready to start spilling some stuff. So lets get it going. First off, my birthday turned out to be pretty awesome this year. Roo, got me a gorgeous ring (see left). It kind of made me tear up. It has both Mini's and Sophie's birthstones. I couldn't be more proud of it. So since it was Friday, I decided to work. But then of course I remembered why I normally take my birthday off. It was a rough start but once I got there my day got better, my girls (I'll give em names soon) had my desk decorated with some of my favorite goodies. I am very blessed to have these two in my life. They helped make a bad day good. Gi, made me a yummy supper then it was off to home to chill and get ready for the rest of the weekend. I got some of the cutest dresses.
After that fun it was time to get my shine on lol. The water and tanning is one of my favorite things in summer. Now we are getting ready for our vacation. I'm so ready to be on the river. I know Mini is looking forward to it too. Of course we also dyed her hair pink. (its summer) There are still something in the works and eventually I'll clue everyone in but for right now I'm just gonna say hang in there and we will get to it.
later days

Its almost that time

Hello to all my faithful readers, I hope summer is treating you all with class and not sunburns.  hehehe
Just playing you all know I hope you've all got your first burn of the season out of the way. So it is that time of year again. The time that I reflect on my previous year and get ready for my birthday. Yes I still find reasons to celebrate. Last year sucked on many levels so I joined club 30 quietly. This year it will still be a pretty quiet time but i'm a little more excited. Life has a way of making you remember it's the little things that make it worth it. Mini is out of town for the week enjoying some of her summer vaca, in the next week I'm thinking about posting some pics of me growing up (I know I do it every year) but its getting closer to my birthday and I just want tooo.
So later days peeps

Deep Breath In

Well hello to my faithful readers. I hope you are all doing well. Here I sit at home while the Mini is not feeling to well. Her allergies are kicking her butt today but its nice to be able to hang out with my little girl. She finished her 2nd grade year with straight A's and I couldn't be prouder. She starts her summer program tomorrow. Since she home sick I figured I could go ahead and make sure its set up. She learned that two of her friends would be there so she is very excited.
Well it's time for that deep breath, I'm selling the reminder baby clothes that we had from Sophia. She never got to see them or wear them and I just think its time they find new homes. I'm proud of me because I could look at everything and not cry this time. Maybe thats why I feel like now is the time. We need a fresh start. So thats whats going for right now. I'll let you know what else is going on later

More Great Mini Stories-1yr Anniversary

Hello to all my wonderful readers. It's been a bit and I have to say that lately my head has been filled with so much non-writable stuff that I had to take some time. But here I am back with another short Mini tell.
So Mini is now my big 8yr old. She is already moody and so much a girl that sometimes I find it hard to believe this child is mine. Never the less she is my light and more often times my true entertainment. So what conversation greatness has she come up with lately? Well this week we were discussing Anniversaries.
I'm sure you've heard me say before that trying to get her ready and out the door durning the week thankfully I reminded almost daily that school is almost out (1 full week & 4 1/2 days she doesn't count weekends) Anyway, this week I was telling Mini she needed to get her stuff ready and we needed to get going. She's starts to stomp around and the following conversation;
Me: Come on baby, we got to go
Mini: Fine
Me: Now whats wrong (we had been fighting all morning over various things)
Mini: I'm so mad at Brad. (she yanks her bag up from the couch)
Me: Oh and why is that?
Mini: He totally missed our anniversary. (Yes she is only eight, just wait it gets better)
Me: I'm sorry what? (I've kind of went still for a minute.)
Mini: He missed our anniversary, I can't believe he did that.
Me: (I'm to stunned so I play along) Oh and how long have ya'll been together.
Mini:(she's standing at the door waiting for me to open and rolls her eyes) Mom we've been together a year.    Ever since Kindergarten.
Me: (Closing my eyes and counting) Baby that would be two years. Your in 2nd grade now.
Mini: Momma, (she cocks her hip to the side and gives me this look) you know I only flirted with him then. We didn't start going steady until 1st grade and now he's forgot. (by this time I've regained enough of my mind to get her out of the house and now we are in the car.) Besides I know what anniversaries are for.
Me: (back to counting, and almost dreading the answer) Oh? Ok.
Mini: they are for when you meet or when you begin dating or when you get married. When do you and daddy celebrate.
Me: When we met and when we got married, Mini, baby your are only 8.
Mini: I know but he forgot and it hurt my feelings.
Me; (we are now in front of the school at this point) Did he forget or does he know?
Mini: Well.....
Me: Well?
Mini: I don't know if he knows, anyway I was just playing love you mom.....(and she jumps out of the car leaving me banging my head on my steering wheel)
You know folks sometimes my sweet little girl is too smart for her own good and eventually she is going to truly realize that I enjoy sharing the fun and awkward moments in her life with everyone. and maybe she will not be happy with me. But when you spend 20min on a conversation about anniversaries then she just smiles kisses me and jumps out of the car with "I'm just playing" this is just my way of getting back at her drama filled days.
Well happy Saturday Peeps

Happy Birthday!!!

April 7th, 2005 I am a bundle of nerves. The hospital called to let me know that I could reschedule or I could go ahead and come in to a sister hospital. I told them lets do it and Roo and I headed over to Medical City Dallas. I hadn't eaten anything and was starving and my back had been hurting for a few days, which was normal for me. We got there and the staff was so nice, they had been waiting for us. Then when Roo told them I was having some slight pain and couldn't get comfortable the nurse went in search of something. She came back to tell us that the back pain I was having was actually contractions and she believed I had been having them for a while, since this was the case they were going to go ahead and get the epidural placed, just in case.

Well the just in case turned out to not really be worried about. They induced early in the morning with the hope that our little princess would be joining us soon....Well staying true to Mini form it wasn't until many hours and a booster later that our Princess made it into the world 

 On April 8,2005 our family of two grew to three and we were blessed with her highness Miss Isabella Jade. My world was forever shifted with this new bundle of joy and over the next few months I stumbled and fumbled over how to keep this little girl safe. Then of course she began to show me her out going personality and there hasn't been a dull day since

From her first cowboy hat to her first horse ride, my sweet little Mini always surprised me. She has always been full of smiles and laughter. There are so many times that just looking at her made my heart feel with joy and my eyes tear up as I think of how blessed we are with our little girl. Even from an early age she would ham it up for the camera and today is no exception. I am very proud to call this little one mine. 

As her mother I have made promises and she can tell you that even though it may be hard at times I always live up to my promises. When she was born I held her  close and I promised to always love her unconditionally, to protect her with my life and to be the best parent that I can be. Mini makes my world shine brighter, her humor is often subtle and sometimes you have to be careful with sarcasm, as she tends to believe somethings but she has kept her sweetness over time. Last year was a rough year for us as a family but she remained positive she kept her humor and her bright out look and as her mother I cried all the more at how wonderful she was. Many days it was her hugs or just some comment that she would make that help me get through. One of the best part of her sense of humor is the fact that she can be totally upset about something then you take to a store. You may not even go to purchase something but you turn around and she is decked out. When she's in the mood to play it's sometimes hard to be mad at her when she tilts her head just so with a smile on her face.

"This is my happy face"

Playing with Sunglasses

Over the last eight years I have watched as Mini as grown and evolved into a lovely young lady. Her heart is large as she sees the good in everyone and again I can't tell you how proud I am to be her mom. She has so much of her dad and myself in her it's not funny. She will always be the first to tell you she's a nerd and that she is just like her mommy. She confident and accepting and I hope she never changes. She knows that it's ok to be different and that no matter what she will always be loved. I hope that as she grows she will continue to have these traits. I am always surprised when we somewhere in town and most everyone will say hello to her by name. Or they tell me how "Oh I know Mini" with a smile on their face. When she's a baby I would always tell her the same two things every night before she fell asleep and I continue to tell her every day and night at least once.

A little happiness goes a long way.

The first thing I tell her is that I love her to the moon and back. I let her know that she is a star in my sky and keeps my days and nights shining brightly. I have a tattoo of a star on my wrist and she will tell you that's its so I always have my little star with me and so I'm never far from her. I've told her that no matter how many times we have to separated Like the moon and stars I will always come back to her.                                             

And lastly I tell her that everyone already loves you and those that don't love you just don't know you yet. My sweet Mini is gonna make the world shine one day and I am very great full that I will be able to watch her do it. So here's to my wonderful little girl. Happy Birthday Princess. 8 years ago you were born to the world and every day you have begun to make the world a better place because you are in it. 

Mini