Life is new

Hello my faithful readers, it has been been awhile I know and I am sorry for my absence but as most know life happens when we don't want it to. Some things I can catch you up on and other things I am just living day by day with.

So many things have changed. First the family dynamic is different. Roo and I had come to the mutual decision that we are better friends. Thankfully it was peaceful and we are still working together to raise Mini. We are doing well and that is a brief look into that time. 

Now life has taken a turn. Mini and I have been learning who we are. I have been finding who I am and have been coming to terms to with the things I can and can not change. Mini is learning who she is and I am always surprised by what I see. 

Like other things I will let you go for the ride. 

Later Days

Hello Again

Hey there to all my faithful readers. Let me first say sorry it's been so long. This past year went by so quick. So a small run down of our lives.

The Mini isn't really a Mini anymore. She entered 7th grade and I can tell you shes growing up and I'm not real sure that I like it. Once again she is a Cheer Leader and though I can say she is by far from perfect I am so proud of the young lady that she is becoming.. We've struggled a little bit with the fact that she is growing and it is becoming more noticeable and I cNan only hope that she keeps her positive outlook as she gets older.

The Mini still does and says some goofy things and my hope is that as I begin to share our lives with you all that I will remember to give you her bits of wisdom. Now I will tell you that I will be nice and ask her before sharing some of her better moments with the world as she is getting older and she may not be as happy to have people know of some of her "sparkling" moments so we will see.

This past year we said goodbye to my Nanny as she went home to be reunited with her family and my Poppy. It was a hard thing to deal with and I will revisit this with ya'll soon as I don't want my first post after being gone for so long to be about something a sad. But just like the others in my life I will be sharing that with you as well.

The rest of it was just us being over worked. I'll be posting again soon.Later Days

Happy Mothers Day/A letter to Mini

Hello to all my awesome readers. It is I, the Great Tiffdini....
So as most of you know Mothers Day is the day we celebrate all the moms out there. It should be a day of joyful rest but there were some that were working hard....I of course was one of those. I can tell you that I was a little blue as Mini was not home. I missed Mini. So I'm gonna use that for a moment to write this letter for her.

To My Little Girl,

I want to tell you how proud I am of you everyday. Your heart is bigger than the state of Texas. (yes I'm measuring you the state) Everyday you grow more beautiful and your personality shines bright. You truly are my little star. As a mom I try to the best that I can and on the day that we celebrate mothers I tend to reflect and believe that I fall short. 
We had so many plans and often times they do get derailed and flipped. But I can tell you that as your mother I will do the best that I can to make sure you are happy. Now with that being said please note that I will flip out on you at a moments notice. Though I want you happy, I first want you to grow into a decent human being and that does mean that if I feel that you are crossing the line in to the "You've lost your Damn mind" territory it is my job to pull back.
I want people to remember you to be the sweetest person and you are off to a good start. You have a great compassion for those around you and though I know you sometimes feel the weight of the world as your mom I will be here to lift it off your shoulders. 
Keep in mind that somethings do not concern you unless I am speaking directly to you, sometimes Mom just has to Vent. You are the apple of our eye and I hope that as you grow you will continue to like me. Even though truth be told you will come to an age that liking me will be very hard to do. I will of course except the responsibility of pissing off friends when you ask, as well as you who will, let's face it, require a lot of time to reflect on what ever action you may get in trouble from. 
Being a mom means that I can help shape you and help you grow. It also means that I don't have to care about what your friends say, wear or have. I will demand respect and accept small amounts of sarcasm as you are my child and I want you to be well rounded. 
I love you 
Mom

Christmas Cheer

Hello there to all my faithful readers, It's been awhile and I apologize about that, I've been a little busy. Roo and I took a trip to Vegas to celebrate our friends wedding. Roo said we could save up and go back so I'm excited about that cause he said he never wanted to go.
We had an end of the season cheer party, Roo was told he will be on the board next year soooo... I'm looking at another busy season. We had Thanksgiving and now it's time to celebrate Christmas.
So I'm not sure where I left off but we've had a pretty rough year. My Memaw went home to be with family I'm sure she is enjoying playing with my Sophie. It's just been well you know.

Well here it is the tiem that we should all be full of Holly and Jolly and yet more often then not people are full of anger. So I decided that today I will give you a story for some cheer. Like everything I spill here this is absolutely true....well accept for the part where I change the names to protect the innocent.

1st Story
Mom and I went for dinner on one of my days off. We are trying to get ready for the holiday. Anyway we had dinner then went shopping for a bit, On the way back home we stopped cause she wanted to get gas. She handed me her card and asked if I'd pump, "No problem" so I get out and do the good daughter thing and get the gas. Once it's done I put the nozzle back and I get back in the car and we continue or discussion.(Which I can't  remember but I can promise it's not important for this story.) As she was driving and we were talking we heard this "THUMP THUMP THUMP"  "What is that?" mom asked and we kept going then I noticed that in the mirror from the light from the car behind us, what the sound was. "Uh" well insert a different word.
Mom "What?"
Me: Well I know what the thumping is
and I start laugh, mom catches on "Please tell me that's not the gas cap"
Me. OK \
at this point I am almost in tears. See I can be pretty oblivious sometimes and apparently when I got gas I forgot put the gas cap on. It was pretty funny until the car behind us turned and the sound stopped. Then I just was laughing for a different reason. Mom "Tiffany I promise you if that gas cap is not on my car when I drop you off I will take yours off your car and throw it"
Now I'm laughing cause I know this is not an idle threat I'm just praying it will be there.
So mom pulls into my drive way to drop me off and thankfully there it is it got stuck behind the closure. As I laughed now in relief that I would not have to have my car unlocked so we could pop open the gas cap I am now laughing about the hilariousness of it all.
If you don't laugh at this idea of this happening to you at some point then you maybe you'll like the next story

2nd Story
This story is not mine to tell to be honest. I do not know every aspect of the details but what I do know is how this mother felt. This story is sad and still full of the spirit.
Young girl was in a terrible accident with her sister a few weeks ago. She was hurt and was in a comma. This young girl's smile could light up a room and though I only met her once or twice I could tell that she was something special. As she fought for her life her parents fought for just one more moment with her. Something happens when you're a parent and your child is going through this. When her she passed away her parents had to make some decisions and one of those decisions is one that will help heal others. They chose to have her organs donated so that 7 other people could receive a very precious gift.
Like I said this wasn't my story to tell and I don't know all the behind the scenes but as a mother that had to make a choice much like this my heart has been heavy and lightened. It is sad what this family is going through but at the same time they know that their daughter and sister has given assisted with giving the gift of hope to others. And I think that is what makes this story part of my holiday cheer list.

See we forget sometimes that above all else the greatest gifts we can give can be Hope. We give hope for love and for the future. As parents if you look you can see it in their eyes. You can see the wonder and the hope for everything they want. Sometimes we call it dreams but what it really is, what it really Hope and I think the real meaning for Christmas Cheer is Hope.
So lets think about that the next time you want to push, cuss, or just bully someone that you don't know when you don't get your way.

A Ranting Day

Good evening to all my readers out there. I just wanted to drop a line or two and give you some updates on the goings on in my "Happy Little World". This summer has not turned out like I thought it should. It's been filled with ups and downs all the way around and I've wondered how much it affects others.
Mini is doing good though she has her moments that break my heart. Here's my question what do you tell someone that asks if a person cares for them? Or why they don't want her around. Since the day she was born I've always held true to one phrase. "Everyone who knows you loves you, and those that don't just don't know you yet." Sadly the last few months she's been asking this question. And you can only tell her so many times that sometimes people are selfish. I don't understand the way things are right now and I'm sure for those reading this today will read the incoherent babble that seems to be coming out of me today.
I'm one of those that kind of keeps things inside for awhile. I don't really want to tell people what's going on but at the same time I don't understand the choices people make. I don't understand why someone would turn their back on those they claim to love. Why not just be open with whatever is pissing you off and let's get over the crap. I mean lets face it life is too short and people are literally dying off.
Maybe they are so caught up in their delusions that they have begun to believe their own stories. They believe they are not needed in a persons life. The problem is they are missing some of the greatest things of those people. Oh well I'm sure more months of selfish behavior will go by.
Let's face it I'm not perfect but I would cut off my own arm before treating those around me the way we've been treated. I may get mad and snarky and I may tell Roo every bad thing I am think about someone but I get over it. I take a breath and I remind myself that they are still needed some way in my life. I don't run away and shut out those that matter. You only do that for those that don't and if my Mini doesn't matter to you well then I'm sorry for you bad luck. She is greatness. She is amazeballs dipps in awesome-sauce and sprinkled in kindness. She will take over the world and you wont be there to see it. So I will continue to tell her she's loved but I won't hide the fact that these people are selfish and so wrapped up in their own stupid mind of what ever injustice was done to them. I won't hide the fact that sometime they need to learn how to let things go because they are not just hurting themselves but those around them.
Oh well thank you for reading I'll get off the soap box today

Just to say I love you

 Hey there to all my faithful readers.Its funny, every time I get a break in the whole writers block something happens that just takes up all my thoughts. Tonight it is no different. Tonight I'm listening to music and I'm thinking of the past. I'm thinking of a time when I was little and everything seemed simple. Of a time when people took their time to be seen as polite. Mostly I'm thinking about family.
My family like many have gone through highs and lows. Joy and sadness and this past week is no different. So tonight I want to tell you about a woman who meant a lot as I was growing.
See this woman to the left, Her name was Reba Evelyn Ray. Though you would never know her middle name. She was the youngest of 12 kids. She lived in a time that a small town really meant small. She was voted Homecoming Queen, much to her dismay. She always had an encouraging word and could tell you some pretty good stories. I wont get into her private affairs but I can tell you with pride that she loved. Her family was her world and her friends were just as close. Any one who met her always left with a kind word and a smile, though I don't think she realized it. This woman could dazzle you when you got right down to it. And the most special and precious thing about this woman, She was my Memaw. When I was younger my brother and I would go and spend weekends with her. The little things I remember was the way her house always had a faint floral smell, though even that's not the right description but it always went home with me when I left. She always had the best cookies and always kept a can of Ravioli in the pantry, even when I grew up (which is something I won't admit too).She worked hard, she single handedly  raised the woman who would become not only my mom but my best friend. I knew that I could always call her no matter what, even if what to just give into some silliness. It was a comfort to know she was there. She had a full life and though it wasn't always the easiest the point was that she lived. She included her child in some of her adventures and she taught us all that she was the Head of the family. She was beautiful and I think sometimes I took that for granted. I think the stories get jumbled with the memories and I hate that.
Like I said family was important. I am blessed that not only did Boo and I get to have her in our lives, but that our children got to as well. She lit up when you talked about them.

 So after all of this and I'm not even telling some of the stories or memories, mainly because right now I'm a little selfish with them, The reason for this tonight is that I needed to say something. You see, she left us this past week. I guess she decided it was time to go home.And though you tell yourself its better, there is still this part inside that you know your going to be missing.She was one of my avid fans. From the blogs, to the stories to the books. She always encouraged me.She was a rare jewel and I will miss her everyday, though I know she is in good hands, It still doesn't make it easy. Reba "Memaw" Ray you will be missed but I will make you proud. Love you....

Keep on Knocking

Hello there to all my faithful readers, it is I the great and powerful.....well it's me anyway. I hope this week has been treating you well. I have to say that this is the first week in along time that I've felt more like myself. As I sit here in the new land of cubes, I am thinking about the last few weeks and decided it was time to share whats been going on. 1st off I now work with Roo. I've been trying to get this job forever and now that I'm here I have to say I really really like it. My training was good but it was at the end of my training that things have been going downhill. I had a sinus infection a month ago and got that cleared up only to turn around and get another one a few weeks ago. I can honestly say I've seen more of the doctor in the last few weeks then I had in a few years. But with that being said, I'll continue. This time instead of just a sinus infection I also had an ear infection, which means my balance has been suffering as well. Veritgo strikes when I least excpect it. But this is all part of the fact that I was also quickly become dehydrated. So I decided it was time to get off the soda's and start drinking water and gatoraid. So I started cutting down and cutting out. Doc was nice about it he prescribed me steriods to take to help fight the infection. So on the last day of the medicine is when I decided it was time to start knocking on a door that I am really not ready for it to be answered. Last Tuesday I woke up early and was extremely sick. I thought it was just something I ate and had planned to go back to sleep until it was time to go to work. After Roo took the Mini to school he came back home to find me lying on the bathroom floor. It was cool and I just didn't have the energy to move. After I tried to get up I relized that I was hurting everywhere and I couldn't catch my breath. After Roo helped me to get dressed he was going to take me to the hospital when I just couldn't move anymore. He called for 911. When the ambulance got to my house, I remember them asking some questions, I remember them putting me on a board and placing oxygen on me and then I barely remember the bumpy ride to the hospital. I think I may have passed out. Roo said that I was hypertensive. I remember the er providing medicine in order to finally get me to be able to relax. And of course I remember why I like morphine. The ER doc explained that I was in DKA (I believe is what it is called.) I didn't know what that was. I know I was scared and I know I was asleep for the bigger part of the day. Roo didn't know how serious it was at the time either, they said they didn't want to scare us. Well after being told I was going to the ICU and being put on all the fluids I began to get a clearer picture. I worried a few people and we didn't say anything to anyone because again we weren't really sure of the severity of the issue. It turns out that I am still very much the diabetic and the advice from the physician a few years ago that I could stop taking the medication completely since I had lost the weight, should have been questioned alittle more then I did. I guess when you get down to it you can convience yourself your not sick anymore. I know that I need to continue to drink water but can still balance it with other things and of course I should stay away from the gatoraide. Though I was apparently close to death, he polite enough to not answer the door when I began to knock. On the other hand when I did come back to work I learned that he was very possibly out for the evening collecting another soul. (My heart does go out to that family) It's gonna take some work and it's going to be a bit but I will get better completely. I have to much life left to live. So with all that said I guess I'll keep knocking softly and hopefully he will keep ignoring me for awhile longer. later days