Clearing My Head

They say writing will help clear a persons head. Well what if what you are writing is posted for all to see? Do you still think it will help? I personally think that whether or not a person is interested in my day to day life they would be interested to know that everyone goes through some of the same things. Do you know the average person who has atteneded college has about $25,000 to $35,000 in debt. And that's not including their spouse or it they are continuing to go to school, not is that including the debt they already have or are trying to get, that's just their school. Another issue I'm dealing with is that for the first time in 10 years Roo is going to be leaving for a bit for work. We've never really spent that much time apart and I am a little worried on how this will affect us. I know that no matter what other issues we have had, that he loves me and will come back to us but it's still a big adjustment. And it's not just me I'm thinking about, what about Mini? HOw do you think she is going to be, knowing daddy is in another state for work. But we will take it one day at a time and we will be a better family because of it. Then there is what's going on with the kids of this city. But again that's a whole different rant and blog and I just can't get into that. So instead I will just grit my teeth and shake my head. I think that they will learn and understand about regret and lesson later in life. They will look back on today and they will think "Damn, what was I thinking?" Then they will just shake their head and think of all the things they could have done different. But this is something they will have to learn on their own.

Hmm...Let's catch up.

Happy Tuesday my faithful followers. It's been a bit since my last post, in fact I'm not even sure what my last post was about so I'm here to catch you up on all the stuff that you've missed. So now that we have moved into the new-to-us place it was time to start doing some stuff. So Roo and I let our friends (who are basically family) use the old run down, not well build shed that stood in our back yard. The picture was taken at the then back of the shed. This was before anything was done to it.

You can see the opening that on the other side held some butterflies and a cow skull. You can also see the dirt floor that everything was stored on. (Not crazy about the dirt floor cause no matter what you had in here it would have been ruined for the mere fact that when it rains it muds.) So the guys Roo and F.M. went to work cleaning out the rubish and getting things ready for the remodel. Once things were cleared out then it was time to bring in the cement. As you can see they had to park on the road due to the way the dirt sinks if anything too heavy gets put on it. It's was kind of cool seeing how the whole concrete process worked. Roo and F.M. were planning on getting P.G. to help them spread it out. (It was only suspose the be the three of them.) But Concrete guy brought some friends along to do the heavy work. That was really entertaining. Concrete Guy had to use a bobcat to take the cement from the truck and bring it to the shed. Once again Roo and F.M. were planning on laying it but here again is what happened.

So the bobcat brings it in and it looks like oatmill. The guys start to work with it and begin spreading it out and the next thing you know it's flat and smooth. Then of course we have alittle left over so F.M. wants to make a little porch or wash area of P.G. and well...

As you can see he was alittle alone in his effort. But it was a good job... Now of course you know that after you play with cement you have to put your name in it. So we all did. Me, P>G., Mini, miniboy, Sis and B.H. all signed our names in the concrete. I also put my hands in it. What can I say I'm a big kid. So after the concrete Roo and F.M. wanted to get some walls up Were F.M. is working was the original back of the shed and now... It's the front of the shed. Looks pretty good huh. So what happened to the back you may be wondering. Well.Now it's the back and it looks so much better. I'm telling you the guys really did a good job on it. The reason for all this is so that Bacon would have a place to sleep. And no I do not mean the stuff for eating...well at least not yet. Bacon is P.G.'s show pig and she is so cute. Let's see what other kinds of information do ya'll need or maybe want to know.

Thinking........

Well I think that's it for today I'm not sure if my brain will function much longer it's been kind of a stressed filled day. Not really stress it's just that things are going on right now that I can't really talk about but maybe tomorrow will look better to me. Later days loved ones.

Happy Ending...Blah

You know those old movies where the guy always gets the girl and someone crys because of the happy ending... You know the ones, well I guess it's kind of like that. Except not in black and white. Some days I think that we are just an old story waiting to be put on repeat but then I think it's still brand new.
We all hear the people who are really "tough" say "I'm just an old soul. A hidden romantic who is waiting for their happy ending." I wonder what those people will say when I explain to them that there really never is a "Happy Ending" there is more of an "Ever After" then ending. If real life stopped like where movies stopped we would all be on pause and waiting for that next movie or that horrible sequal where the couple finds that they are meant to be together but only after they are forced apart by idiots. I feel bad in away that I would even say to myself that this should be my happy ending because I don't want it to end. That's almost like death do us part in the marriage vowls.
You never hear them talk about the reality of a mariage or a relationship in general. Now adays you need to hear them talk about that. I fear for Mini when she grows up...I mean what kind of world are going to leave our children with? Everyone has to be together right now. There is no time to just wait and see how it works out? The fairy tales lie. Sure Cinderella married her prince but what was his name? Why would a girl want to live up to that? I want my daughter to strive for something greater. Hell she should be her own happily ever after. Yea, I just never got that. Anyway it's time for something new tonight.

Mini's First Sleep-over

I think it's like a right of passage, the sleep-over. I don't know many girls who remember their first sleep-over but I think parents remember it. This week Mini is on Spring Break and her older cousin "Cookie" was down to spend the week with the great grandparents so Mini wanted her to spend the night. Also I may need to point out that Mini's Papa got her a bounce house so now she's feeling extra special. So Mini and Cookie came back to the house and had a sleep over. Even though Mini has spent the night at her cousins house she has never had anyone sleep over at our house so this was a major event for her.

For Christmas Mini got an Easy Bake oven. (We were more excited then she was I think) The girls wanted to make a cake and so I got out all the stuff to this... After mixing and pouring the mix in the pan the girls decided they were over it and they went outside to play leaving me with the Easy bake oven. For the record I was watching them out the window so it really wasn't my fault. Aparently you can burn cake mix in the easy bake. Yes I burnt the cake. Oops. I made up for it today, I baked some cookies. some real life cookies, in the big oven. They played on the wii and watched a movie then finished the night playing. I think the first sleep over has been a success. Now the girls are still here for one more night and they are once again playing. It's been a pretty nice thing,

Emotions

I have discovered that peoples emotions can run rampet. (I'm sure my spelling on that is wrong) I mean to have feelings and emotions can be such a pain in the ass at times that I honestly don't always know what to do with it. I talk a good game but I often get my feelings hurt and I'm not ever sure what to do to change that. Most of the depression I've felt over the years is because of how I've been made to feel.
You begin to question yourself and what you've done wrong that could make a person or even a loved one treat you in such a manner. For the record I still haven't figured it out yet. Sometimes you think that you are so loved but then things are said or done and you once again begin to question their true feelings toward you. It's crazy really. But we continue to let people treat us as if we don't matter.
I know I shouldn't let things get to me in this way but I think it's because I believe that everyone has a right to feel the things that they need to feel. I also believe that a person should be treated with respect for who they are and not for what they can do for you. (I'm not a "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" type of girl.)
This past week alone I think I've cried more then I should. I want to turn it off. But I just can't seem too and once again I question did I ever rank. A person can go their whole life and not really know just how little they are thought about. (Lucky) I don't honestly know anyone who wants it pointed out to them just how worthless people believe them to be. No matter what you do for some people you never really do enough and I think that is sad.
Time is suspose to heal those wounds but do you ever really forget? Do you ever feel whole again after being made to feel like you really don't matter. That is the question on so many peoples mind. Things happen and things change but you're not suspose to react to them or even have an opinion. Well excuse me but I do have an opinion and if my thoughts don't agree with yours does that really mean I'm wrong?
So the sky apparently is not blue, so what? Why can't I just continue to live happily with out getting shut out? Emotions often ruin good things. It's said they make us weak and unable to function. I say it makes us human. It also tells us when we have been wronged. Just because you believe that you have done nothing the sheer fact that you upset someone should make you at least appoligize for that. Everyone deserves an apology every now and then. It's what makes the world go round. But again that's just my emotions talking. (Eye roll) Hmm some things to think about I guess. Happy Sunday.

Another No-Go

Hello my faithful readers it's that time again. Time to let everyone know what's going on in the wonderful world of me. So I've decided that do enjoy subbing but I don't enjoy the high school. Sorry guys but I just don't think that letting teenager have their cell phones during class or even school hours is a good thing. I'm big on technology (let's face it I'm glued to my phone and laptop most days.) but I just don't see how they are learning anything. Not only that they don't take me seriously. But I do enjoy working with the...dare I say it. The middle school kids. I've enjoyed the last two time's I've worked there. I also enjoy working with 5th grade and under. I can say I'd like the 6th grade but let's be honest I don't think I could allow them to survive.
Ok so new topic. Mini decided on Monday that she was ready to get her ears peirced. We were going to go today. Well we were there but it didn't happen. I think it's because of the place. We had tried to get it done once before but there was only one person and well that didn't go so well and Mini has a really good memory. (Crazy) Anyway we will try again when she get's ready to again but we will go somewhere different. Tomorrow I will be going to sell the lotions that make I make and I'm a little nervous but I know my product is good and now I'm listening to Vanila Ice by Steven Lynch if you haven't heard this song you may want to check it out. I am having a hard time writing today. So I'll let it go at that.
Good Night.