To My Pop

I think that last time I was in this spot I watched as the cursor continued to blink for at least an hour. My mind was so full of thoughts but I couldn't get them out. Today, it seems like its the same. So many things have changed in the last year but and as I go back over the last few days I know that there is still more to come.
What does it mean to be a Pryor? This question was answered last night with all the people who joined us to celebrate the wonderful life of my grandfather. You work hard, you play hard, you love hard. You never let 'em see you cry and you show 'em you can sweat it out. But most of all you hold your head high no matter the situation. Well last night we were able to bow our heads and let our world crumble with grace and love from so many people. I think we were all humbled by the turn out. Poppy has touched so many lives. I didn't go up to speak last night because for some reason words that normally come so easy to me couldn't come at all. My heart has been breaking and though I know that day by day it will get better right this moment it's hurting.

So many times over the past few days I have been told how someone is sorry for our loss. I am so grateful for those thoughts and words but if you knew my Pop then you would know that he would tell you he is not lost, he has just relocated, in fact he would sit you down and give you directions so that you were aware of exactly where he was. This was a man who loved a good story and loved life. He loved his beautiful wife who was his best friend and companion in life for 57 years. He loved his kids who he helped raise and mold to the adults they are today. He loved his grandchildren who held his heart despite our faults. He loved us regardless of how we acted, though he demanded respect he taught each of us what it means to work for it. He loved his great-grandchildren who he cherished and spoiled on a regular basis. I remember that the older kids at one point or another asked if he had lost his mind when we learned of what one of the younger ones were able to get away with. But that was Pop he mellowed with age, he decided that he was going to enjoy those kids no matter what and he did.
My Poppy lived and extraordinary life and I only hope that as my little Mini grows that I can do his stories justice. I hope that as she grows she will remember the great times as we had so many. It was commented last night how he had a "Magic Belly" We were all fortunate to have taken a nap on it at one time or another. There was just something about that man that you knew you could talk to him about anything. You could sit and talk with him no matter what the subject and he would have some insight into it. He was our sounding board when we were frustrated and a shoulder to cry on. Even as adults the older kids could still crawl in his lap just because we needed our Pop.
Don't get me wrong our family wasn't and isn't perfect but we were a family that would still what was needed to be done because he asked it. One of the deep conversations we had was of my little Sophia and last night I was reminded again about how much we had been through for the last year. Well this is just one more thing to make us stronger. I know he is up in Heaven right now teaching my little girl how to ride and I know that he loving every minute. I know that he is no longer in pain and that he looking down on us wondering why we are crying. But most of all I know that we were all loved. He felt that he lived a full life with love and family and friends. He said he was grateful that he had been able to hold every single one of his kids, grandkids and great-grandkids. But we were the lucky ones. Even when he was being a butt he was still the best.
I remember as a kid I actually stood up to someone and asked "Do you know who my grandfather is?". I got whatever it was I was looking for that day. Roo said I made him believe that we were in the mafia with how we spoke of the man. I still laugh at that idea, and it could have been the way he carried himself but when my Pop spoke you listened.
So today we will finish out this tough week. Last night we celebrated his life and we listened to how he impacted others. Today we tell him goodbye and though I know its another day that will be filled with tears, its a day that I feel we have to experience. My little Mini did something last night that I could not, she spoke. She was calm when she told a room full of people that he was loved and that he will be missed. She held her head high when she took that stage. Pop would have been very proud of how she represented herself and the family. Every person who spoke did a wonderful job. This has been a suck week but we are going to make it through.
Happy Trails Pop, Though I know you have left us for today it doesn't mean that we won't see you tomorrow. You stood beside us all and held us together for so long and now its time for us to take that step. We've got this, you just rest and hang with the horses in the sky. Love you.