Five months have went by and there is still not a single day that I do not miss my little girl. There are so many of my friends that are now expecting and I am truly happy for them but also envious. I wish them joy in their pregnancies. I am still thankful for my family. It's gotten a little easier as we allow the time to pass quietly. Every month on the day that she was born I still feel the pain deep inside but it does get easier. In 20 more days it will be 6 months. Half a year has gone by. I'm not sure that I should be as ok as I am right now. I mean I still have moments of heartache. I'm still unable to look at things without tearing up and Mini is starting to talk about her more. But It's still getting better. Sorrow is still there and it always will be. There is still something missing but it does get better. Not so much better but sometimes easier. I will plan on going to see her this week sometime, Mini wants to visit and so do I but I may also find a reason that I can't. It hurts both less and more to visit.
I am at the stage I can smile and I can feel other emotions but then I can sit down and cry for the loss and the things that I will not get to share. So that's it. It's been a little over 5 months and we are still here.
Later Days
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